If you are a connector you should pat yourself on the back. I’m a devoted connector, and I pat myself on the back for it, often. I spend hours each week meeting new people and thinking about who it would benefit them to meet. I think about the challenges they are facing, who I might introduce them to, and also who I think that they might be able to help. At times I experience a bit of “connector burnout”, but it isn’t the most demanding of roles relative to the praise it receives.
The truth is, connectors get a lot of praise, and we often do praise ourselves, a little too often, just for making the connections. But actually, connecting people together requires more than simply introducing them. Making a superior connector all starts with having the right ingredients. The ones I’ve known seem to follow the recipe below:
- They have time to engage people
- They’re interested in learning about your expertise, connections and needs
- They have a decent-sized network that is open to your introductions
- They have time for writing for permission to be introduced and for making the introductions
- They have a good memory and follow through
- It also helps if they have earned a good network for themselves, rather than being handed it–they know how important the right introductions are
- It helps, too, if they have an abundance mindset that derives joy from the success of others
- Many connectors also get better as they age. Truly anyone could–and should– be a great connector, as it is really about a mindset more than anything. If you view the world as having limitless possibilities, you hope to realize more of them by the simple act of connection.
- I love seeing possibilities everywhere and hold firm to the notion that the impact can be great. However, the accolades heaped on connectors can seem a little grander than they deserve.
I’m not trying to create a one-person anti-connector committee. They are great, but perhaps a little too celebrated, because…
Most people don’t just need you to make a connection.
You shouldn’t just hand someone a name, tell them to “say that you sent them” and have them reach out to your person via LinkedIn. It is more nuanced than that. For example, here are three different “connector” situations from this past week. I spoke with the director of a prestigious institute, heard from founders/friends in search of feedback on a new idea and was asked by a client for some names for a flexible part time job that I know would be of interest to a number of people I know.
The Institute Director is a recent acquaintance who shared two problems she was facing. In each case I could think of someone who I trusted to help her. I made two introductions via email after speaking with each advisor about her and what she was trying to resolve. I called and texted each person to give more context, ensure that they were responsive and had a chance to consider her needs prior to the first conversation. I will follow-up afterwards to ensure that a meeting happens because this is a situation where everyone wins, but I don’t want to leave it be. Rather, I want to be an active part of the solution and help build a stronger degree of trust between parties. That’s more than just a simple connection. It’s adding value.
The Founder(s)/Friends are working on new ideas that have some real potential to make an impact on many people’s lives in less explored, but fertile spaces. I read through some early-stage documents to offer considered feedback and we discussed my reactions. They are now updating their materials and will reshare them when they are done. I’ve already started talking about their initiatives with prospective funders/investors with the caveat that I will make an introduction when they are ready for it.
The Colleague is looking to fill a well-paying and interesting part-time virtual role outside one of the usual cities where people tend to look for such things. I will spend some time offering feedback on the position description, and then on LinkedIn, searching through my network for people with the right skills and lived experience and offer a slate of possible names for her to review. Once she tells me who intrigues her, I will reach out to each person about the person to see capacity, interest and answer questions. I might discuss with the employer what questions to ask in the interview process too. I will then follow-up with the employer to answer questions about the people they interviewed.
This connection business is hard work, but it’s worth it. I want you to think about how you can be a better connector, too. What’s been your best experience of having done it?
—Russ Finkelstein [linkedin.com] is the opposite of your High School Guidance Counselor. A career coach, social entrepreneur, and advisor to founders, he is currently the Director of Coaching with the Roddenberry Fellowship and a Coach-in-Residence with StartingBloc Fellowship. He was a founder of the noted careers website Idealist.org and was chosen as a Generation Z & LGBTQ Influencer by LinkedIn.
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